"Part I: The Personal World of Women in Your Church." - Denise George divides the book, see first post, into separate sections, so I will be addressing each section, instead of chapter. The first two chapters in this section are entitled, "Pastor, I'm Tired," and "Pastor, I Hurt." She does a wonderful job enlightening me to the work-a-day world of the women. She goes at length to talk about the pressures of a Godly women especially as she feels that she has to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman. So I went back and took a look at this chapter of Scripture that women are often compared to. OUCH! No wonder so many women feel pressure. Who can really measure up to these standards!? And then to expect them of yourselves on a daily basis.
This is certainly something to aim for, but please understand that none of us, men included here, are perfect. We are sinful human beings in which no one can perfectly live up to God's demands. Thats why he sent a Savior who lived perfect life for us, in our place. Maybe instead of looking at all of this chapter, try to focus on part of it, or a verse, on your life and think, pray and meditate on it for a week at a time or so asking the Holy Spirit to guide you in your daily walk.
Denise George makes this comment, "A caring pastor can also explain to his congregation a woman's right to rest." Jesus certainly took time to rest. Women should not feel guilty, or be made to feel guilty by their husbands or anyone, about taking time for themselves. Men, pastors, husbands, if you want a small picture into the world of our wives and our children's mother,
then you need to read for yourself about "Sister Sally." Denise gives us a record of a day in the life of a mother with three children. It was hard to read this knowing that it is so true. I appreciate the help she provides in opening up a world to a group of people who don't live it. I haven't walked in these shoes, but I am thankful that I got the chance to read about them in action.
Maybe the scariest part for me was when she speaks about the issue of false guilt. She writes on page 28, "False guilt follows many women like hungry puppies. They retire at night and awake at daybreak with guilt-causing questions attacking their minds:" Then she proceeds to layout the questions and the areas such as being a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee, and as a church woman as well as many other areas. I am beginning to see that there is a false sense of guilt that is built up because she is wearing all these hats, and she believes that she has to do them all and do a great job at all of them. What pressure! How can you possibly meet the needs of all these different groups??? And then meet your own needs. There is the kicker, I bet you are not meeting those needs.
When my wife took a job in January at St. Luke Lutheran Church, Haslett to be their Preschool director and teacher, I felt it was my responsibility as head of the house to make a few guidelines as she debated on taking the position. As she struggled with the decision and we discussed it, I told her that I would support and respect whatever she felt God was leading her to do and that that decision was completely hers, but these were my desires: 1) If she cooks, I clean and 2) that when she is done on her 1/2 days that she come home and take care of herself (reading, TV, etc.), not laundry, not cleaning or otherwise. I have realized that Joann needs this time for herself, especially as the responsibilities have increased and her load is heavier.
In conclusion Denise George adds some helpful advise to pastors to share with their tired women. I would just like to pick up on a few of these,as she lists seven:
-"Say no gracefully but firmly, and seek to establish a workable life balance." It is o.k. to say no! I, we as pastors, do not know all that is going on in your life. Please feel free, not guilty, to say no to a request or when we are in need of help. I respect that and please don't go home for a moment and feel guilty about it, but maybe take time to think and pray on a request, from anyone, before saying yes or no.
- "Realize and affirm a woman's daily existing ministry-outside the church walls." You are already "doing" ministry by touching the lives of those that God has placed within your care and your circles. Martin Luther always affirmed the place of people and the roles they play as serving God and neighbor where they are placed. Even if you are not doing a "church function" you are serving the church and God's kingdom. Don't ever forget this!!!
PLEASE, PLEASE comment below and share your agreement or disagreement, your frustrations, your suggestions or helps you have encountered. This will go a long way to helping me as a pastor connect with you as well as opening up dialog with some other women and sharing like experiences.
Next time PART 2: "The Faith of Women in Your Church."