The Road Less Traveled

A Delirious Summer, by Ray Blackston - A Very Funny Book

We just returned from our vacation, a 2-week jaunt down to Florida, via the Great Smokie Mountains. We have found in our trips that the audio books that you can get at Cracker Barrel, a great deal in which you rent an audiobook for a few dollars, is a great idea to make time pass by. While the two other books we listened to were good, it was the last book that we listened to that really caught my ear.

A Delirious Summer is a fictional story about a missionary to Ecuador who takes a furlow to South Carolina, via a suggestion from a friend, to take a break and to find a few dates. What he found was what makes the story captivating. My wife likes to read Christian romance books, almost all written by women, but this book is written by a man, with a guys perspective on dating. It was a fun window for my wife into the world of what guys think when they are on the "hunt." ((There is even an 81 year old widow who is on the hunt. VERY HUMOROUS)) I found that I laughed more often than she, because I knew how true it was. Having spent a number of years as a single guy in South Carolina myself, I could identify with this book any number of ways.

Neal is searching for a church going girl, but what he finds are a group of girl friends who are playing the "denominational hopscotch" game because there aren't any single guys in their church. The book reads like fiction, but the whole singles church hopping scene brings up some very real and interesting questions about finding a mate and being committed to a group or family at one church. Blackston pokes fun at the Pentecostals, the Presbyterians, the Episcopalians, the Baptists, and yes even the Lutherans as the "Ladies of the Quest," search for the perfect man. It is all fun but there is a point at the end about the whole search for a mate.

I invite you to read this book, especially if you are single, in your 20's or 30's, and wondering if God is going to take care of this thing called a mate or whether you need to take matters into your own hands. If you read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you can relate. I know there was a time, about 11 years ago when I would have find this book more non-fiction than fiction.

What Women Wish Pastors Knew: Part I

"Part I: The Personal World of Women in Your Church." - Denise George divides the book, see first post,  into separate sections, so I will be addressing each section, instead of chapter. The first two chapters in this section are entitled, "Pastor, I'm Tired," and "Pastor, I Hurt." She does a wonderful job enlightening me to the work-a-day world of the women. She goes at length to talk about the pressures of a Godly women especially as she feels that she has to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman. So I went back and took a look at this chapter of Scripture that women are often compared to. OUCH! No wonder so many women feel pressure. Who can really measure up to these standards!? And then to expect them of yourselves on a daily basis.

This is certainly something to aim for, but please understand that none of us, men included here, are perfect. We are sinful human beings in which no one can perfectly live up to God's demands. Thats why he sent a Savior who  lived perfect life for us, in our place. Maybe instead of looking at all of this chapter, try to focus on part of it, or a verse, on your life and think, pray and meditate on it for a week at a time or so asking the Holy Spirit to guide you in your daily walk.

Denise George makes this comment, "A caring pastor can also explain to his congregation a woman's right to rest." Jesus certainly took time to rest. Women should not feel guilty, or be made to feel guilty by their husbands or anyone, about taking time for themselves. Men, pastors, husbands, if you want a small picture into the world of our wives and our children's mother, then you need to read for yourself about "Sister Sally." Denise gives us a record of a day in the life of a mother with three children. It was hard to read this knowing that it is so true. I appreciate the help she provides in opening up a world to a group of people who don't live it. I haven't walked in these shoes, but I am thankful that I got the chance to read about them in action.

Maybe the scariest part for me was when she speaks about the issue of false guilt. She writes on page 28, "False guilt follows many women like hungry puppies. They retire at night and awake at daybreak with guilt-causing questions attacking their minds:" Then she proceeds to layout the questions and the areas such as being a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee, and as a church woman as well as many other areas. I am beginning to see that there is a false sense of guilt that is built up because she is wearing all these hats, and she believes that she has to do them all and do a great job at all of them. What pressure! How can you possibly meet the needs of all these different groups??? And then meet your own needs. There is the kicker, I bet you are not meeting those needs.

When my wife took a job in January at St. Luke Lutheran Church, Haslett to be their Preschool director and teacher, I felt it was my responsibility as head of the house to make a few guidelines as she debated on taking the position. As she struggled with the decision and we discussed it, I told her that I would support and respect whatever she felt God was leading her to do and that that decision was completely hers, but these were my desires: 1) If she cooks, I clean and 2) that when she is done on her 1/2 days that she come home and take care of herself (reading, TV, etc.), not laundry, not cleaning or otherwise. I have realized that Joann needs this time for herself, especially as the responsibilities have increased and her load is heavier.

In conclusion Denise George adds some helpful advise to pastors to share with their tired women. I would just like to pick up on a few of these,as she lists seven:
-"Say no gracefully but firmly, and seek to establish a workable life balance." It is o.k. to say no! I, we as pastors, do not know all that is going on in your life. Please feel free, not guilty, to say no to a request or when we are in need of help. I respect that and please don't go home for a moment and feel guilty about it, but maybe take time to think and pray on a request, from anyone, before saying yes or no.
- "Realize and affirm a woman's daily existing ministry-outside the church walls." You are already "doing" ministry by touching the lives of those that God has placed within your care and your circles. Martin Luther always affirmed the place of people and the roles they play as serving God and neighbor where they are placed. Even if you are not doing a "church function" you are serving the church and God's kingdom. Don't ever forget this!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE comment below and share your agreement or disagreement, your frustrations, your suggestions or helps you have encountered. This will go a long way to helping me as a pastor connect with you as well as opening up dialog with some other women and sharing like experiences.

Next time PART 2: "The Faith of Women in Your Church."

What Women Wish Pastors Knew

I am an avid reader. Something catches my eye and I have to have it. This was the case with this brand new book entitled, What Women Wish Pastors Knew by Denise George. Now I am only into the first chapter of this book, but it is quite compelling. I really appreciate the work and research that she has done to put before someone like myself,a perspective on something that I know that I would not have otherwise.Interviewing hundreds and hundreds or women from around the country and from over 30 different denominations, she has a real feel for this topic.

I have only read the introduction so far, but as I get into the book, I would like to share some thoughts. Especially, I would like this to be spring board for discussion for the women in our congregation, and maybe even elsewhere of some of the topics raised. This is one of the joys of a blog, the dialog that happens between two or more parties. So as I go through this book and bring up some of the topics laid out, I am asking for input from women. You can put your name or you can be anonymous, but I would like, I need, truthful responses. We have such an incredible and valuable asset in our women of the church. If there are needs out there that I need to know as pastor, than please let me know.

I am looking for a running dialog as I continue through this book. Join together with me as I begin to try to understand what women wish their pastor knew.

They Like Jesus But Not the Church

I picked up a book this weekend by author, Dan Kimball, called They Like Jesus But Not the Church. I am just a few chapters into it. It is a truthful, but a scary read. The title first caught my eye, as you can imagine. Pastor Kimball is speaking to his audience about the emergent culture - 20 - 30 somethings, but there are connections across the broader community as well.

He is trying to get us, Christians, to be able to listen and understand others in a world that is as he calls it, Post-Christian. He is up front and blunt. He is very forward in his thoughts,  ideas and knows that some of his readers are going to be offended or it may make the reader feel uncomfortable, but so far,30 pages in, I believe he is right on target. He is trying to get us to see our communities and our neighborhoods as mission fields. It is important to get out and spend some time outside of our Christian circles. How many times do we find ourselves as Christians only or always hanging out with other Christians? For those working within the church, pastors, teachers, etc., this can be particularly common, and even dangerous?

With chapters sounding the voice of those he has listened to, some of the titles are:
- The church is judgmental and negative
- The church is dominated by males and oppresses females
- The church arrogantly claims that all other religions are wrong
Remember that these are those that those outside Christian circles think of the church. Dan Kimball is trying to get at the heart of why we are loosing an entire generation. Where are they going? What do they think? Why are they not attending our churches? I think if we look honestly, and maybe you at your church as well, you would find there is a gap, especially those in the 20's.

His final section is on how the church can respond. I am trying not to skip ahead to the end. Even though I have not read the entire book, I would commend it's truthful and yet uncomfortable look into our society, and the church, to you as a beginning to hopefully a larger dialog with the future of our country and Christianity. We need to listen to what this upcoming generation has to say, respect the thoughts and issues of these men and women and then, well, well ...I let you know when I am done with the book.

Come back here for more thoughts on this book as I go through it. I would love to hear to your thoughts on this. If you are a 20 - 30 something, by the way I am in that 30 something crowd, I would love to entertain conversation,  dialog,... or just listen.

Great Children's Bookstore in Grand Rapids

On a recent trip to Grand Rapids for a conference, more on that in another blog, I was cruising around town killing time, when I came across a small indoor shopping plaza, but not quite a mall. I was pleasantly surprised to find a wonderful children's bookstore called Pooh's Corner. This is a excellent bookstore filled with the wonders children's literature. What a great name for a store, a store filled with imagination and the wonders of the mind. But don't let it fool you, there are books here for all ages. Having been an elementary school teacher and now a father of avid reader, it is great to see a store like this dedicated to such an important pursuit as reading.

In this age of high-tech gear and gadgets, it is refreshing to see kids in a book store allowing their imagination to run free, to go places they have never been, to investigate and solve a mystery, to see into the lives of others, to take magical journeys or to visit the elusive elves or distant galaxies.  After talking to some of the staff it is clear that these people know their children's literature. You are going to get better service than one of these big stores such as..., well you know who I am talking about, the ones when you ask a question they go to the computer and look it up.

If you are in the Grand Rapids area, please check out this store. We need more of these around. I encourage you to take your kids with you, whether toddler or teen, they have something for every kid. If I were to start a business myself, this is probably where I would go also. There is nothing more exciting than to see a young mind open and expand as he or she is exposed to the joy and wonder of a book. God's richest blessing to Sallie and Camille for their efforts in this.

New Book for Blogging Churches and their Pastors

I have recently read from another blogging brother about a new book on the marked directed at churches and pastors looking to blog. The Blogging Church web site has an informative video describing blogging and what is in the book. I don't have it yet, but if someone has read it, would love to hear some feedback. I am interested to hear what these men have to say in regards to blogging specifically for the church. There are a lot of applications here and room to grow. Blessings to Brain Bailey and Terry Storch for their work. Let's hope it's a best seller!

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

I am nearly half way through this book Blue Like Jazz and Don Miller tells a marvelous story of his life and his thoughts on Christian Spirituality. He has a knack of sharing the concepts of Christianity without using theological jargon, or lengthy discussions. He brings it, and he brings it real. His discovery and fight with our human frailty within all of us is something to read a number of times. He also has some great insights into any number of issues of into the Christian life.

This book was suggested to me by a brother in the ministry who was given the book by a younger member who said to him, "You want to know more about me and understand me, read this book." Not having finished the book yet, at this point I can say that I am appreciative of the suggestion and look forward to finishing it. I have already recommended it to a number of other people. If you have read this book, please leave your thoughts below. I would love to have a conversation on any number of topics he brings up.